Mark your calendar

OK, remember, the Rapture is Saturday. Yes, time flies, doesn't it? But make sure you've got your affairs in order. You don't want to be wondering for all eternity if you turned off the oven.

And speaking of flying, enjoy your trip. I don't think you have to worry about baggage, and you probably won't have to take off your shoes or get a pat-down by security officials for this one. After all, if you stick a bomb in your underwear, it probably won't cause problems for anyone else.

Above all, have faith. Yeah, this may seem crazier than a sack of squirrels, but hey, how else are you going to decide what to believe? Reason and evidence? Don't be ridiculous!