Saturday, September 14, 2013

Protecting our daughters?

I don't have any daughters, so I can only imagine how angry this video would make me if I did. Heck, I'm angry enough, already.

Now, you might think it perfectly natural for fathers to worry about their daughters, and so it is. Indeed, parents (men and women) worry about their children (daughters and sons). But to "Fix the Family" (Catholic, of course) it's the man who leads. What his wife thinks about anything,... well, who cares?

On the other hand, sons can't be expected to control themselves, right? "Very few men can restrain themselves or control themselves with a woman." (Um, if men can't control themselves, but women can, why isn't it the wife who should lead the family?)

Just think about that. That's what the Taliban thinks. That's why they make their women wear burqas. Men can't be expected to control themselves when they see an attractive woman, so women have to cover themselves. (Why don't they make the men wear blindfolds, instead? It's their problem, isn't it?)

So, of course, if a woman is raped, it's not really the rapist's fault. Men simply can't control themselves. Even when it comes to consensual sex, men can't be expected to behave rationally, right? (Heck, even if you don't care about your daughters, think about what you're teaching your sons.)

When it comes to sexual matters, this guy is implying that women are to blame no matter what. If men can't be expected to restrain themselves, then it's the woman's responsibility for... everything.

Nice, isn't it? This lets us men completely off the hook, just because we're men. We simply can't control ourselves. Poor us! But women,... oh, women can control themselves, so whatever happens, it must be their fault.

You might think he has a point about "dressing with dignity," but fashions are merely cultural artifacts. A burqa is considered proper in some cultures. Anything less than that would be considered immodest. This guy wouldn't go that far, I suspect, but why not? The principle is the same. Either way, you shouldn't expect your daughters today to dress as women did in some arbitrary time and place of the past.

He just goes on and on. No dancing. No sports ("revealing clothes and posture"). No college. "Is the loss of our daughter's purity worth them getting a degree they're probably not going to use?"

Right, what use would a woman have for a college degree? After all, she's just going to stay home cooking and cleaning for her man, right? So the only thing she really needs to know is that her husband is boss.

Right now, you might begin to suspect that this video is a parody, but it isn't. This is really what "Fix the Family" is all about. Purity? Purity? Could you focus on anything less important than that?

There's prudence, yes. Teach your daughters (and your sons) about making smart choices. Teach them that they're in control (your sons, too). Warn them about potential dangers, absolutely. But purity? This isn't the Dark Ages. There's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying your youth, enjoying your health, enjoying your sexuality.

This guy is just creepy as hell, isn't he? Jezebel has a pretty good reply to this video, especially this part:
Dear good Catholic daughters, and daughters in general, and anyone who has ever come into contact with the teachings of a kookooroo like Raylan Alleman:

1. You do not have to obey.

It's okay if you don't believe me right now—I'm just going to keep hammering this one point over and over again for the rest of my life, just to do my part to ensure the message is there, steadfast and unequivocal, any time someone needs it. Contrary to what people might have told you, your life is yours—not your father's, not your husband's, not the Pope's, not some radical internet creep's. People who come at you with shit like this are liars with their own best interests in mind, not yours:
My personal impression is that the day-to-day grind of a job is below the dignity of women. In a way, it is like being a hired hand, as result of the fall and the penalty for original sin.

The "personal impressions" of Raylan Alleman, self-appointed internet lady-wrangler, are irrelevant to your life. You get to do whatever the fuck you want, within legal boundaries. You can still hold yourself to the moral code of your choice, immerse yourself in the church of your choice, marry someone whose faith you respect, and so on, but your church's jurisdiction over your life ends where your personal liberty begins. "Obedience" is part of the lexicon of slavery, and that is precisely how Raylan Alleman is using it. Your purpose is to stay home, stay tethered, stay ignorant, and stay harmless. Have more babies! Clean some stuff! Avoid critical thinking—it isn't your place (besides, we wouldn't want you getting critical of your husband and your life). Avoid going outside and making a mark on the world with your radiant brain and agency—that's your husband's place.

Well, fuck that. It is your place. Every place is your place. You are a human being and you have just as much a right to thrive and grow in any place you choose as some man who didn't do anything exceptional except be born. These places were built on your back too. You were born too and this is your life and you can do what you want with it. Obey yourself.

Jezebel - Lindy - has much more to say. (Here's another great line: "That's why you shouldn't take economic advice from people who were home-schooled by people who were home-schooled by people who think college is just one big Marxist jizz fountain.")

But Raylan Alleman has more to say, too - like "What's with all the Angry Women" and "Feminist Lie #4 - All Girls Need to go to College." Frankly, I don't know if it's all this crazy, because there was a limit on how much bullshit I could take.

1 comment:

Gregg said...

Well, I do have daughters, and that video definitely pisses me off.

I understand being protective of your kids, but I always worried just as much about my son as the girls - the world can be dangerous for boys as well as girls.

All that nonsense about college being bad for girls is just a bunch of crap. Education is important for all kids- male and female. Any contrary thought is just a holdover from a primitive religion.