|The Colbert Report||Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c|
|Rick Perry's HPV Vaccine Mandate|
Luckily, there's (future) President Bachmann watching out for our innocent little 12-year-old girls being forced to avoid cervical cancer. Hey, if God didn't want them to get cancer, he wouldn't inflict them with that disease!
What's next, trying to eliminate smallpox? Why are our scientists trying to play God like this???
And then there's the vaccine-mental retardation link, clearly demonstrated by some woman Michele Bachmann just met. Now, Stephen Colbert considers that to be "disagreement in the scientific community about this issue." But come on! I think we all know that moms just know these things, right?
Who are you going to believe, a concerned mother or cold-hearted medical researchers with "education" and "evidence" on their side? We all know that "evidence" comes directly from Satan himself.
Besides, it's obvious that scientists are simply addicted to conspiracies, right? Just look at global warming. (Hey, we had frost warnings in parts of Nebraska last night. So don't try to tell me about global warming!)
Well, we might want to cut Rick Perry some slack on this. After all, he's come out strongly against science in the past, at least on the subjects of evolution and global warming. And who knows? Maybe some wise stranger will come up to him on the street, too.
Will it be Jeebus this time? We can only hope.