Friday, October 14, 2011

All those burning bushes...

From Indecision Forever:
I realize how difficult life must be for practicing Christians in America. Sure, children are permitted to pray in public schools, but can God even hear those prayers when teachers and administrators are not allowed to lead them? And of course, self-identified Christians make up about three-quarters of the U.S. adult population, but all those secular math classes have failed me…that's basically a minority, right?

In any case, I thought the War on Christmas was the worst injustice inflicted on our Christ-loving neighbors, but during yesterday's speech in South Carolina, Rick Perry's wife explained the situation was much worse: Christians aren't even safe in a Republican primary anymore…
In an address that was sometimes teary, [Anita Perry] offered a window into how the family has been dealing with this first two months of the campaign, and admitted to drawing a surprising conclusion: Rick Perry is being attacked by the other Republican candidates because he is a Christian. ...

Funny story about God: turns out He is quite the prankster. His schedule is filled with everything from awarding touchdowns to worthy NFL teams to sending deadly hurricanes ripping along the eastern seaboard, but He still finds time to tell Republican presidential candidates that they, and they alone, are commanded to fulfill Jesus's mission of cutting capital gains taxes and discriminating against gay people (raised a Jewish atheist, I'm a little rusty on Christian theology).

God told Michele Bachmann to run for president. Karen Santorum heard God calling for her husband. Herman Cain humbly admitted he felt "like Moses when God said I want you to go into Egypt and lead my people out." Which must be very confusing for Rick Perry and his wife
She likened Perry's decision to run to encountering a "burning bush," a reference to the Biblical story of Moses receiving a sign from God. And Anita Perry suggested that her husband's current difficulties were a "test." ...

For his part, Rick Perry agreed with his wife's interpretation of events, though personally, I'm still inclined toward the Can't Debate to Save His Life secular humanist theory of Perry's decline.

Funny how God wants all of those people to be president at the same time, isn't is? What a kidder!

Of course, an alternate explanation could be that "God" doesn't exist, that all of these Republicans are just believing what they want to believe, and that there's no way for them to tell that they're wrong, because they're faith-based, not evidence-based.

Nah, couldn't be that, could it? After all, God wanted George W. Bush to be president, too, and look how well that turned out!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL

Anonymous said...

Listen, it's too much trouble to select a profile, type in a user name and then type the secret word every single time I want to agree with you.

Just assume I love all of your posts from this point on, ok?

Jim Harris said...

Why can't God inspire some smart Republicans to run?

Actually, I always thought Moses invented the Ten Commandments for political reasons. It's so much easier to get public support when you can claim that God is working through you.

Bill Garthright said...

No problem, Anonymous. I always just assume that everyone loves my posts. :)