Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Aliens welcome in Glasgow

Some bizarre... human being (presumably) filed a Freedom of Information request with the Glasgow, Scotland, City Council asking about their plans for alien contact.

Yeah, weird, huh? But at least their reply was entertaining:
The response, from Dr Kenneth Meechan, admitted the council had not laid out concrete plans for alien contact.

He said: "The legal framework regarding making contact with extraterrestrial lifeforms is not entirely clear."

Dr Meechan went on to say it was unlikely Glasgow would be the aliens first point of contact, whether it be over radio or in person.

As reported in the Herald, he said: "The general consensus in the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence community is that contact is most likely to be made through radio communication, since faster-than-light travel remains in the realms of fiction and it would take an improbably long time to travel between the stars at sub-light speed.

"The council does not own or control any radio telescopes, so we do not expect to pick up any signals from space. One of our secondary schools has a large aerial of unknown providence, but if this is capable of acting as a radio telescope, we are not presently using it.

"If, contrary to this expectation, first contact is through a landing on earth, we note that Glasgow covers around 0.008% of the world’s population and 0.00003% of the total surface of the earth 0.00012% of the land area. On a purely statistical basis, we therefore consider it unlikely that aliens, should they land on earth in the next five years, will initially land in Glasgow."

But if extraterrestrials do decide on a tour around the globe, they would be more than welcome in Glasgow.

Dr Meechan said: "Glasgow is of course a vibrant and exciting city for visitors and has been awarded any number of accolades by national and international travel guides. We are sure that any (non-hostile) alien visitors would want to include Glasgow on their list of places to visit, and we can assure them of a warm and peaceful visit."

That's all very well, but what are their plans in the event of a zombie apocalypse? That's what inquiring minds really want to know.

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