A South Dakota man is in custody for lying to police about how he landed in the emergency room with a gunshot wound to the penis.
Donald Anthony Watson, 43, told police he was shot by “a black guy (who) tried to rob” him while he was taking out the trash at his apartment, the Argus Leader reported Friday.
But police weren't able to corroborate Watson's story of an attempted robbery after a search of his apartment, where they found blood, bullet fragments, and an empty gun case.
Watson eventually admitted he had made the story up, and had instead placed a handgun he was considering purchasing in his pocket, where it fired and hit his genitals.
Luckily, this guy doesn't really need a penis, because that's what the gun is for, right? His penis-substitute? Isn't that what most guns are for? Handguns, at least.
You know, I don't think I've ever seen a news story about someone lying to the police and inventing a crime without that imaginary criminal being described as a black man. And I've seen lots of stories like this. (Well, not exactly like this. Shooting his own penis is an interesting GunFail, to say the least.)
A few years ago, here in Lincoln, there was a prominent news story about a woman attacked on the bike trail near me, when a 'big black man' jumped out of the bushes and grabbed her. A week or so later, I happened to notice a tiny retraction buried in the back of the paper. She'd made the whole thing up, apparently just for attention.
Why was the imaginary man who attacked her black? Well, who else would she pick to slander? And she probably didn't even consider herself to be a racist, either (few racists do).
But I had to wonder how many people had seen that first story, prominently displayed in the newspaper, but never noticed the tiny little retraction later. Well, that's not 'news,' huh? The first story was sensational. The fact that it wasn't true was just a minor detail.