"Why do we still have apes if we came from them?" state Sen. Stephen Wise of Florida rhetorically asked a Tampa radio host in 2009. He'd just introduced a bill that would have required public school teachers who cover evolution to also discuss intelligent design. At the time, the ravings of (the ironically named) Wise looked like little more than the quixotic roars of a political dinosaur.
Wise now has a bunch of new friends in Tallahassee, courtesy of the tea party movement. They've appointed him to the chairmanship of Florida's Senate Education Committee.
I know it's inevitable that some Americans will always be this ignorant. Hey, it's a big country, and the tail of the bell curve is always going to contain some real losers.
And I suppose that, given American political apathy, a few of these dullards will always show up in our legislatures. Well, maybe it's good to have a little comic relief on occasion.
But the morons have taken control! The inmates have been elected to lead the insane asylum! This scientific illiterate, this complete ignoramus, is not just some random loony, muttering on the street corner. And he's not even stuffed away out of sight in the Florida Senate's smallest office. He's chairman of their Education Committee!
It's just astonishing, isn't it? Why put their most poorly educated legislator in charge of education? Or - an even worse thought - maybe he's not even the worst? Please tell me this isn't the best Florida can do! What, has Cuba put something in the water down there?
And hey, if you don't understand why that initial question is so hilariously dumb, so rolling-on-the-floor, laugh-out-loud funny, so astoundingly, extravagantly stupid,... well, you really need to educate yourself just a bit. That's something you should have learned in grade school - high school at the very least.
How could one of the most advanced nations on Earth become so filled with dim-bulb hicks who apparently don't know the first thing about science? It's just astonishing, isn't it? And we're not only electing them to public office, we're putting them in charge!
Jeebus help us!