Sunday, August 21, 2011

100 things you can say to irritate a Republican

From Addicting Info, here's 100 things you can say to irritate a Republican:
1. A Socialist wrote the Pledge of Allegiance.
2. Jesus healed the sick and helped the poor, for free.
3. Joseph McCarthy was an un-American, witch hunting sissy.
4. Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee were traitors.
5. The South lost the Civil War, get over it.
6. The Founding Fathers were liberals.
7. Fascism is a right-wing trait.
8. Sarah Palin is an ugly cow (said to conservative males).
9. The Earth is round.
10. Reagan raised taxes eleven times as President.
11. Reagan legalized abortion as Governor of California.
12. Nixon created the Environmental Protection Agency.
13. Ronald Reagan supported gun control.
14. Global warming is real.
15. Republicans hate illegal immigrants, unless they need their lawns mowed or their houses cleaned.
16. The military is a government-run institution, so why do Republicans approve the defense budget?
17. The Cold War is over and the Soviet Union no longer exists.
18. Paying taxes is patriotic.
19. Republicans: Peddling the same failed economic policies since 1880.
20. The Republican Party began as a liberal party.
21. The Presidents’ full name is Barack Hussein Obama and he was born in the United States of America.
22. George W. Bush held hands with the King of Saudi Arabia.
23. President Obama saved the American auto industry, while Republicans wanted to destroy it.
24. Hate is not a Christian virtue.
25. Jesus was a liberal.
26. Republicans spend MORE money than Democrats.
27. Tea parties are for little girls.
28. Public schools educate all children; private schools are for indoctrinating children.
29. The Constitution is the law, NOT the Bible.
30. Sharia law doesn’t exist in America.
31. The President is NOT a Muslim.
32. Corporations are NOT people. People are people.
33. Fox News isn’t real news, it’s just a racist, sexist, hateful, right-wing propaganda machine.
34. The Federal Reserve was a Republican idea.
35. Women are equal citizens who deserve equal rights.
36. Women control their own bodies.
37. Abortion is a relevant medical procedure, just ask Rick Santorum.
38. Please use spell check.
39. It’s “pundit”, not “pundint”.
40. Social Security is solvent through 2038.
41. Health care is a right, not a product.
42. Roe v. Wade was a bipartisan ruling made by a conservative leaning Supreme Court.
43. G.O.P also stands for Gross Old Perverts.
44. The donkey shouldn’t be the Democratic mascot because Republicans are the real jackasses.
45. Barack Obama ordered the killing of Osama Bin Laden. It took him two and half years to do what Bush couldn’t do in eight.
46. Waterboarding IS torture.
47. 9/11 happened on George W. Bush’s watch, therefore he did NOT keep America safe.
48. Republicans invaded Iraq for oil, so Iraq should be allowed to invade Texas to get it back.
49. Separation of church and state is in the Constitution, it’s called the First Amendment.
50. Muslims are protected by the Constitution, just as much as Christians.

I'll let you check the source if you want to see the rest of them. Yeah, there are some of these I wouldn't use (though I think I understand the point of #8), but in general, I like the list.

And I'll just repeat his last line here:
Bottom line? If you want to anger a conservative, tell them the truth.


Jim Harris said...

Well, some of these are just wrong. It would be better if they had a solid list that were unquestionably true. It makes me wonder just how many of these are really true and how many are just off the cuff snideness. #8 is offensive. I actually think Palin is a very attractive woman. #48 is so wrong that it makes the whole list suspect.

WCG said...

I think I understand #8, Jim. From what I've heard all too often from conservatives, Sarah Palin would not be very popular if she were unattractive. Really, right-wingers are always bragging about how good-looking conservative women are (and insisting that liberal women are ugly).

The point of the list is that these things will irritate Republicans. Obviously, Palin isn't ugly, just the reverse. I think that's the point. I still don't like that item, but I do think I understand it.

And I guess I disagree with you about #48. Oil wasn't the only, or even the main, reason Republicans wanted to invade Iraq, but it was certainly part of it. Bush and Cheney were both former oil-men. And we kept hearing that the Iraq War was going to "pay for itself." That's entirely because of Iraq's oil.

That didn't happen, of course. The war did not pay for itself, and we didn't take Iraq's oil (although I still hear right-wingers claim that we should). So, obviously, the whole idea of invading Texas to "get it back" is crazy.

But come on! This is supposed to be funny! You're taking it far, far too seriously. There's enough truth here to make it accurate enough for humor.

If I could make a change, it would just be to remove #8. As I say, I think I understand the point (which isn't that Palin is "ugly"), but it's an offensive kind of thing to say, despite that. Still, you're really taking this too seriously. It's meant for a laugh.

Jim Harris said...

Yeah, this is supposed to be funny, but I think it would be better if the points were unquestionable true. We didn't invade Iraq for oil. Bush and his Neocon advisers had other reasons, all based on false assumptions.

If we're going to attack the Republicans for being inaccurate, either in fun or seriousness, we shouldn't be inaccurate ourselves.

AJ said...

This was a fun list! I even might use a few after I confirm the veracity of the comment, like #5. After living in Texas, I'm never really sure of the answer.

WCG said...

Heh, heh. Yeah, I'm beginning to wonder, myself, who actually won the Civil War!

Chimeradave said...

Some of these were funny like

Republicans hate communism, so why do they refer to themselves as red states? and America is a nation of immigrants, therefore we are all anchor babies.

But I definitely see Jim's point that a lot of these are just kind of offensive. But, humor is subjective.