Too bad all those liberals and their gun control led to slavery in the early years of our republic, isn't it? But what could conservatives do back then, with leftists so firmly in control of the American South?
For more improbable history, just check your local Republican Party headquarters. But have patience. They're rewriting our history as fast as they can.
PS. This part was especially hilarious, don't you think?
And what do you know? Michelle Obama happens to grow organic carrots and cabbage at the White House. That can only lead to creeping Sharia slaw!