Monday, October 29, 2012

God and Hurricane Sandy

Why is it that, during hurricane season, we have a hurricane bearing down on the east coast of North America? Who could make any sense of that? What could it mean?

Well, silly rabbit, it's a result of the gays, of course! Christian pastor John McTernan explains it all - clearly, calmly, and rationally:
This monster storm aimed at America and ready to inflict severe damage during election week is not a coincidence. Hurricane Sandy may flood Washington, DC on election day! It is like the hurricane is a huge bucket of vomit in America’s face during the election. What a sign from the holy God of Israel that American politics is an abomination to Him. A pro-homosexual Mormon along with a pro-abortion/homosexual, Muslim Brotherhood promoter, Hard Left Fascist are running for president. And there is no cry of repentance from God’s people! I see this storm as a warning from the LORD to call His church to repentance, This might be the last call from the Holy God of Israel.

Gee, gods used to throw lightning bolts, but now, they just throw buckets of vomit? Ew! I always thought that rain was God's piss - His little golden shower, you know - but now...

Really, does that seem godlike to you? How about upholding the dignity of the office, God?

But that's not all:
God is systematically destroying America. Just look at what has happened this year.

There was an incredible heatwave and drought that destroyed massive amounts of the crops. This drought has not let up and now covers about 65 percent of the country.

The drought triggered record forest fires in the West.

The East was not affected by the drought, but now the most powerful hurricane on record is heading directly towards Philadelphia and New York City. It could do catastrophic damage to the entire Northeast!

If you add the area of the drought and now the hurricane together, it would be about 80 percent of the country! As I said, the Holy God of Israel is systematically destroying America right before our eyes.

Of course, this couldn't have anything to do with global warming, could it? I mean, let's not be silly!

But I must admit that this part puzzles me:
Right now, Hurricane Sandy is projected to hit Washington, DC and then come directly over my house! I live in central Pennsylvania and the storm is scheduled to hit here Wednesday.

Gee, pastor, if I were superstitious, I might think that God is trying to tell you something. :)

But then I'd have to think that 'God' actually exists, and with no evidence to that effect, that would be foolish, wouldn't it?

I'd also have to believe that he could only indicate his extreme displeasure with you by harming millions of innocent people. And that would be just crazy!

1 comment:

Jeff said...

Way to set an example, Pastor.

"If you can keep your head while all around you are losing theirs..."