Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Thank God for killing Hitler

Wasn't that nice of God for killing Adolph Hitler for us? Heck, just think of what might have happened! We might have had to wage war against him. People might have gotten hurt.

But thanks to God, the Nazi government fell, Hitler died, and war criminals were put on trial. Wow! What can't that guy do? I'll bet he cures people, too,... sometimes,... when they go to a hospital and get modern medical care from skilled doctors and nurses.

Of course, God has to respect Hitler's freedom of choice, just like he respects the free will of Hitler's victims - and, indeed, of all of us. God says, "Do exactly as I say, or you'll be tortured forever in Hell."

But hey, it's entirely up to you, right? You can choose to do exactly what he wants (or what people here on Earth say he wants, at least - not that any of them can agree on what that is) or you can choose to burn. Now that's a choice!

Apparently, Bryan Fischer, of the America Family Association (yeah, this guy is a power in right-wing Christianity/politics), decided that wasn't enough crazy for one two-minute episode, so he also had to compare Barack Obama to Hitler. Well, of course he did!

And just like with Hitler, they're all praying for God to get rid of Barack Obama, too. After all, they're so much alike, right? I mean, you can hardly tell them apart!

Honestly, I started to wonder what Fischer was getting at here. Was 'God' supposed to get rid of Obama the same way he supposedly got rid of Hitler? Let's hope not.

Keep in mind that Fischer, crazy as he is, has a following. All appearances aside, he's not just some raving lunatic in a mental institution. People actually listen to him. People even ask him for advice. And he's speaking on American Family Radio, which broadcasts over more than 180 radio stations in at least 40 states.

But luckily, no, God's solution was apparently to create Ben Carson. Carson is the latest Republican heartthrob in the image of Herman Cain and Alan Keyes, a black man with right-wing political and religious views! I mean, Obama is black, too, right? And all those people think alike, don't they?

But if that still doesn't work, God has a backup plan. He's going to get someone else elected president in 2016! Oh, what a masterstroke! I'll bet Barack Obama won't see that coming, huh? After serving out his two terms as president, prohibited by the United States Constitution from running again, someone else will be elected to replace him - all thanks to God!

Wow, when they call that God "all-powerful," they really mean it, don't they? Who says the age of miracles is over, even in this sophisticated land?

1 comment:

jeff725 said...

It would appear Fischer never heard of Godwin's law. Oh well...

As far as your line "God says, "Do exactly as I say, or you'll be tortured forever in Hell," if someone rolls up on you says that, drop this on him: "Have you ever read Milton?" That should hold him for about a half an hour.

The Right is now PRAYING that "God" will get rid of Barack Obama? Just another sign of their desperation. Time is not on their side and I think they know it.