Be afraid, be very afraid. Muslims are infiltrating everywhere in America. Even our mops are turning Muslim:
Building managers and legislative staffers have sought to reassure some concerned Tennessee lawmakers that recent renovations at the state Capitol did not install special facilities for Muslims to wash their feet before praying.
“I confirmed with the facility administrator for the State Capitol Complex that the floor-level sink installed in the men’s restroom outside the House Chamber is for housekeeping use,” Legislative Administration Director Connie Ridley wrote in an email. “It is, in layman’s terms, a mop sink.”
Who were the patriotic Americans who alerted us to this new threat? It seems that we can thank Republican legislators Bill Ketron and Judd Matheny, although the latter can't actually remember it. ("It's not ringing a bell.")
Apparently, he's been a Republican so long that there's nothing left in his head but a vast, empty, echo chamber of right-wing slogans.
But this isn't the first time they've taken a principled stand against freedom of religion:
Matheny and Ketron were the main sponsors of a 2011 bill that sought to make it a felony to follow some versions of the Islamic code known as Shariah law.
Hundreds of Muslims came to the Legislature to express fears the measure would outlaw central tenets of Islam, such as praying five times a day toward Mecca, abstaining from alcohol or fasting for Ramadan.
Aren't we lucky to have such brave political leaders who are willing to fight against the Constitution of the United States like that? Not since the Confederacy have we seen such patriotism!
But now that our janitorial supplies have been infiltrated by the Muslim menace, good, God-fearing Republicans are not even safe in their closets. Oh, Jebus, help us!