Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Product placement


After seeing peaceful protestors effortlessly being sprayed in the face, are you thinking about getting your own Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray?

Well, at Amazon.com there's certainly no shortage of product reviews - 222 at last count. And most are very positive.

For example, from D-bag of Liberty, who gives it 5-stars:
Whenever I need to breezily inflict discipline on unruly citizens, I know I can trust Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray to get the job done! The power of reason is no match for Defense Technology's superior repression power. When I reach for my can of Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray, I know that even the mighty First Amendment doesn't stand a chance against its many scovil units of civil rights suppression.

When I feel threatened by students, no matter how unarmed, peaceful and seated they may be, I know that Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray has got my back as I casually spray away at point blank range.

It really is the Cadillac of citizen repression technology.

However, as usual, not all of the reviews are so positive. For example, here's pen name, giving it only 1-star:
I casually used this product to try to disperse a small band of non-violent campers who had locked their arms together. Although initially it seemed to be effective, it took two applications! The worst part is that the next day they multiplied exponentially! Now what?

One positive outcome, I did receive a paid vacation for my efforts.

Or KittyKat, who was also disappointed in the product:
At the college I work at there's this huge problem with students expressing their opinions. We thought this spray would put a stop to it, but it while it caused some discomfort and medical problems it hasn't silenced them. It looks like we're going to have to go back to plan A -- making college so expensive no one can come to begin with. It's a shame too, because we spent more on this spray than we pay most of our faculty.

And for you Fox "News" viewers thinking to buy this for kitchen use, here's Dan:
Despite Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly's assurance that this harmless vegetable mist is a "food product", I found it wholly unsuitable for eating. It caused an extraordinarily painful burning sensation in the mucous membranes of my upper respiratory tract and the tissue surrounding my eyes, resulting temporary blindness which lasted from 15-30 minutes, inflammation of the skin which lasted from 45 to 60 minutes, and upper body spasms which forced me to bend forward in fits of uncontrollable coughing that made it difficult to breathe or speak for between 3 and 15 minutes. While there are many pleasurable ways to ingest fruits of the genus Capsicum, a nice New Mexico-style green Chile sauce on a stuffed sopaipilla for example, I found this product unsatisfactory.

Well, opinions differ, but at least there's no shortage of product reviews. And no shortage of Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray, either, I'm sure.

But you might want to stock up before the Christmas rush.

7 comments:

Chimeradave said...

That's funny that people are making reviews. I'm not following the news all that closely so it''s all just pepper spray to me

WCG said...

Well, me, too, John. But I thought this was funny - and not just funny, but making some important points, too.

Jim Harris said...

I'm disappointed that everyone is focusing on the pepper spray and ignoring how the people at the scene dealt the pepper spraying cops. That should be the real story. After Pike sprayed the kids, the crowd started chanting "Shame on you, shame on you, shame on you" until the cops all backed away and then formed a defensive huddle. The crowd kept chanting "Shame on you" and the cops backed a way to the edge of the park it seemed, but then they didn't know what to do. So the crowd started chanting, "You can go, you can go," and finally the cops left.

That was so much more powerful than the pepper spray but few people noticed.

WCG said...

That's an important point, Jim, but the right-wing is still calling the protestors murderers and rapists.

I was very glad the protestors didn't give them an after-the-fact excuse for what happened, and the media should, indeed, have taken more notice of it.

But was that the most important thing about the incident? I don't know if I can agree with that.

Still, it was important, and that should be recognized.

Jim Harris said...

People are calling OWS protesters murderers and rapists? Really, where?

All I keep hearing is they need to get a job and a bath.

People get pepper sprayed all the time - but how often do a crowd of people get the police to back off like that?

WCG said...

I've seen them called murderers and rapists, Jim - mostly, I think, in the comments at the online site of my local newspaper.

Where they get that, I don't know. But most of what they say seems to come from Fox "News," Rush Limbaugh, or right-wing bloggers.

Then again, all three of those sources tend to repeat each other, don't they? When someone comes out with a right-wing meme, they all jump on it. But I really don't know the original source for that one.

Tony Williams said...

While such satire flourishes, all is not lost!