Quite frankly, the very last thing I want to think about is Rush Limbaugh's penis!
So no matter how much I may revile the conservative broadcaster, I think I should take this moment to express our condolences to Rush, lest we be the happy men who neither see nor hear others in their time of illness and misfortune…
"I think it's feminism. If it's tied to the last 50 years — the average size of [a male's] member is 10 percent smaller than 50 years [ago] — it has to be the feminazis, the chickification and everything else. Give them time and they'll blame Bush. But air pollution versus feminazis? Ha!"
Limbaugh was referring to an Italian study which purported to show a 10% decline in penis size over a 50 year period and laid the blame on weight gain around the waist, alcohol consumption, smoking, stress and environmental pollutants. None of which are problems for Limbaugh, of course. In his case, it was definitely the Teeny Weenie committee of the National Organization for Women that's causing shrinkage.
But no matter who or what is ultimately responsible, let's keep Rush in our thoughts as he goes through this difficult time.
Obviously, in Limbaugh's case, it couldn't be weight gain, alcohol consumption, or smoking, right? And what could he have to be stressed about? (Oh, yeah, his tiny penis.)
But is it really "feminazis" casting magic spells on his private parts? Maybe it's just shrinkage:
Stay out of the pool, Rush (please, please, stay out of the gene pool) and you might be ready for your fifth wife (I see you're doing your part to 'defend marriage') any time now.