Thursday, November 29, 2012

Bill O'Reilly claims that Christianity isn't a religion!



Hilarious, isn't it, that Bill O'Reilly claims Christianity isn't a religion?

Is he really this stupid? Or is that just the latest idiocy from the right-wing anti-reality bubble, to claim that our government can promote Christianity because it's a 'philosophy,' not a religion?

I think these people are losing it. I think the election has knocked the few remaining marbles from their head.

Well, forget Bill O'Reilly and the other Fox 'News' fools. If you really want to get in the Christmas spirit, here's a poem by Digital Cuttlefish:
‘Twas the night before Christmas; the Christians all hunkered
In basements of buildings they’d armored and bunkered.
They huddled in silence; they huddled in fear,
With thoughts that the atheists soon would draw near

The War Against Christmas had started on Fox—
Just a couple of fools on the idiot-box
Who were looking for noise to give ratings a boost—
But lately, those chickens have come home to roost:

Believers are frightened; they’re panicked; they’re scared,
And not one among them will go unprepared;
They’ve heard that the atheists roam, Christmas night,
So Christians stay hidden, and safe out of sight.

It’s serious business, the whole Christmas season,
When people of faith fend off people of reason—
At least, that’s the story you hear on TV,
So the basement’s the place meant for children to be

There’ll be no “Silent Night”, or “Away in the Manger”
The godless might hear it! Consider the danger!
And then, they’d attack — Why, they’ve done it for years,
With that vile “Season’s Greetings!” invading the ears!

“Happy Holidays!” may seem inclusive and nice,
But it just isn’t Christmas, unless it’s got Christ;
Those words are no less than a form of assault!
So it’s war (and it’s clearly the atheists’ fault!)

(Plus, it’s unpatriotic, and now it’s high time
We made non-Christian greetings a federal crime!
The clear, true intent of our great founding fathers—
Which someone should check, although nobody bothers)

The elders remember an earlier time,
When a bottle of Coke only cost you a dime,
Each Christmas the snowfall was brilliant and white
And there wasn’t an atheist heathen in sight!

Folks visited neighbors; they caroled with friends;
They hand-crafted gifts out of old odds and ends;
They knew that the joys of the season would last…
But now, such delights are a thing of the past.

There are rifles to oil; there is ammo to check;
There’s a radio, straining to tune in Glen Beck;
No time to sing carols, or even say prayers,
With the danger that some may be caught unawares!

A war—manufactured, but war nonetheless—
Could kill hundreds, or thousands, it’s anyone’s guess;
They’re under attack, and that is the reason
They’re locked and they’re loaded, the whole Christmas season!

***

The atheists, meanwhile, are feasting and singing;
Our stockings are hung and our sleigh-bells are ringing—
Though Jesus had nothing to do with a sleigh,
We’re all unbelievers, and so it’s ok!

With holly, and eggnog, and mistletoe kisses,
We’ll watch “It’s a wonderful life” (just like this is)
With family and friends—with the people who love us—
With no one beneath us, nor no one above us

We’ll celebrate all the things Christmas is for,
Like giving, and loving, not hatred or war
And we’ll say to the world (cos we’ve got every right):
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

8 comments:

Jeff said...

You saw that too? I was going to send you a link of Billo's brain fart, but you beat me to it.

Now, if Obama would have said that.... Katie-bar-the-door!! Jody P's head would have exploded!! (which would save me the trouble of splattering him/her/it in the face with intellectual pies) :)

Gregg Garthright said...

I also was going to send you that clip - it's hard to believe he can say that with a straight face.

Jim Harris said...

O'Reilly was just using that as a rhetorical ploy, but of course it's a poor one. If I had been in O'Reilly shoes I'd said Christmas is no longer Christian, but a capitalistic holiday design to stimulate the economy. Any religious significant was removed in the 19th century by the Santa Claus lies for children and Dickens' secular promotion of goodwill. And he could have pointed out that all those manger scenes have turned Baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wise men into cheesy holiday decorations.

He could have pointed out that Christians tried to cover up a pagan holiday with their own, but now capitalism has supplanted Christianity with its own holiday.

WCG said...

Jim, Bill O'Reilly would never say anything which could be considered a criticism of capitalism. He'd be more likely to claim that it's 'socialism' which has supplanted Christianity.

And he has specifically argued that it can't be Christmas without Christ, so he'd never bring up the pagan origins of the holiday, either.

Yes, this might be what you would have said, but you'd never get a job at Fox 'News,' would you? :)

Seriously, I don't know what he was thinking. Normally, the right-wing is united in their shared bubble, but if this is part of their new narrative, it must be brand-new, because I've never heard it from anyone else.

Chimeradave said...

Wow, just wow! If Christianity isn't a religion anymore then it isn't eligible for the tax breaks for religions anymore. :)

Jim Harris said...

But I wasn't trying to be critical of Capitalism or Christmas. I'm an atheist that likes Christmas. Let's just secularize Christmas. Hell, without it, most businesses would be in deep doo-doo.

WCG said...

Sure, I understand, Jim. But O'Reilly would still never say anything similar.

And I'd say we've already secularized Christmas. After all, it's a federal holiday. And if you think of the trappings of Christmas - holiday lights, decorated trees, gifts, candy canes, Santa Claus, snowmen, etc. - almost none of it has anything to do with religion.

But again, you'd never hear Bill O'Reilly saying something like that.

WCG said...

Heh, heh. Well, that's a nice thought, John, but you don't have to be a religion to be a tax-deductible non-profit organization.

Besides, if churches don't lose their tax breaks when they promote political candidates - which they don't, because politicians don't want to enforce the law - I'm not sure what would do it. :)