Secession?

I'm loving this, I really am. It's just hilarious, don't you think? The more these sore losers keep whining about the election, the better I like it!

This is a democracy. Sometimes, your candidate wins. Sometimes, your candidate loses. But the reason we've had a peaceful transfer of power for more than two centuries - except, of course, for the last time the Confederacy got its knickers in a twist - is that there's always another election.

Heck, there are congressional elections again in just two years. There's another presidential election in four. You can support your candidates again, and... who knows? You might win.

That's how a democracy works. That's our alternative to civil war. That's how we keep from killing each other over our differences. (And yes, I know you like war, but only as a televised spectator sport, you know? I think it's a little different if you're actually in the middle of it.)

Not long ago, we suffered under eight years of George W. Bush. Under his leadership, we invaded a completely innocent country for no reason but the fun of it. Under his leadership, we broke the bank giving tax cuts to the rich while hugely increasing government spending (mostly on unnecessary wars). Under his leadership, for chrissake, we tortured prisoners of war!

And I certainly didn't vote for him. My candidates lost in 2000 and 2004. Heck, note that Bush didn't even win the popular vote in 2000. For that matter, it took a decision of the Supreme Court - a 5 to 4 split decision, with only the Republican justices voting to install a Republican president - to stop the recount in Florida and get him in office at all.

I didn't like that, and I hated every bit of his two terms. I was really disappointed that Al Gore didn't win in 2000, but I was absolutely flabbergasted that we re-elected Bush in 2004, after we already knew what a disaster he was to our country. But that's how democracies work, isn't it?

Not to mention that I live in Nebraska, where my candidate almost never wins. I'm not kidding. This is pretty nearly a one-party state. Well, I don't like that either, but this is how democracies work. This is our alternative to chaotic violence, on the one hand, or a North Korean-style dictatorship on the other.

I know exactly what it feels like to lose an election, but I never lost my mind, too. I never went completely batshit crazy after losing an election. Instead, I accepted reality, whether I liked it or not.

So now, I'm absolutely loving all this weeping and moaning and crying and whining from Republican crybabies. Goddamn this is great! This is the best entertainment ever, don't you think?

It's the five stages of grief. Only for Republicans, it's denial, anger, anger, anger, and anger. And now they're talking up secession? Oh, it just doesn't get any better than this!

Keep in mind that this isn't the party of Eisenhower, let alone the party of Abraham Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt. No, this is the Republican Party after they successfully pulled off their 'Southern strategy' of deliberately wooing white racists.

Well, that was a huge success. They took all those old segregationist Dixiecrats out of the Democratic Party and into the GOP, and now that's the Republican base.

They wanted the Confederacy and they got it. Good riddance, I say. But if you still expect to secede,... well, this is America. If you don't like it, you're free to leave. But you can't take any part of America with you. That's ours.

Meanwhile, please, please keep this up. I'm just laughing out loud at how hysterically crazy you people have been. Honestly, it's the best comedy show ever.

And keep talking about how every rapist's sperm is sacred. That's lovely, too. Keep talking about how it's 'racist' not to support the crazy old white man's political party, the Dixiecrat Republican Party.

Keep demanding Barack Obama's Kenyan birth certificate and his madrassa transcripts. And please keep encouraging Donald Trump. Keep making complete and utter fools of yourselves.

Because I am loving every minute of it!